A few videos came on HTMLGIANT recently and I liked them a lot and:
I don't remember why I was reading this but it made me wonder how many fœtuses have Wikipedia pages...
NaNoWriMo is coming to a close. Here is my contribution. It is NaNoWriMi:
A man likes to have sex and he wants to have lots of sex but he is married and he doesn't know if he likes to have sex with his wife as much as he likes having sex with other people so he breaks up with his wife and then misses his wife and tries to win her back using sex but eventually he realises that that's not the best idea and he has to woo her using his SOUL and his SENSE OF HUMOUR so he does that and that happens for a while and eventually they have a kid together.
There. A genuine NaNoWriMi. The minute ran out halfway through 'together' so maybe they actually have a kid 'toge'.
Pretty gripping. Anyone else for a NaNoWriMi?!?!?
I watched 2012 today. It is the "James Joyce" of film. It is the "Heather Locklear" of film. It is the "Kentucky Fried Chicken" of film. It is the "Chopsticks" of film. It is the "Amiga 4000" of film. It is the "sousaphone" of film. It is the "Citizen Kane" of film.
...Damn...
I recently read Kevin Wilson's book Tunneling to the Center of the Earth. I really enjoyed it. It consistently did things in a way that was confident and realistic and purposeful and reassuring. I really enjoyed it.
Some lessons from the book:
Fake Grandmas can be a sad thing.
Spontaneously combust.
A baby eating a Big Mac is funny.
George Saunders is good and if something reminds you faintly of George Saunders that's usually a good thing.
Do everything.
A forced suicide is confusing.
Commit gentle incest.
If something reminds you of something you would want to write then that's usually a good thing, there's something else the stories remind me of, something else I really like.
Mortal Kombat is a good enough reason for anything.
The quietest cheerleader can be a sad thing.
A boy on fire can be a sad thing.
Two children in love can be a sad thing.
If everyone feels afraid then that can be a sad thing.
Kevin has about a million stories online. And if you like things, go over to his place and click any two stories and you will not be disappointed unless you don't like things, you dummy.
I want an Ariana Reines book(s). Does anyone want to do a swap? Are there any books that people want that I can but for them in exchange for an Ariana Reines book? (Ariana is not published currently in my country and ordering from overseas seems 'less fun' than DOING A SWAP)
Just had sexual thoughts after looking at an ad for EVONY.
Think I've drank ~3 pints of tea so far today. It is 3.30pm
1) What is the nickname of Stephanie Meyer's husband (AKA THE LUCKIEST MAN ALIVE )?
a) Pancho b) Jerko c) Poncho d) Dorko
2) To which of these religious organisations does Stephanie Meyer belong?
a) Freedom From Religion Foundation b) Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans c) Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints d) Church of Scientology
3) How did 'sourpuss' Stephen King refer to Stephanie Meyer in a recent Guardian interview?
a) "Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good." b) "If everyone in the world set fire to themselves because of Stephanie Meyer's books I would understand." c) "I will have sex with a goose and you transcribe the noise it makes and that will be better than Stephanie Meyer's books." d) "Stephanie Meyer's hair is full of cutlery. I hate her. Her sentences are an 11-year old's magnetic fridge poetry"
4) How many literary awards has Stephanie Meyer won?
a) "multiple"
5) Which award winning science-fiction author described Stephanie Meyer as "the real thing" and "an amazing phenomenon"?
a) Orson Scott Card b) Some other clown
6) What number did Stephanie Meyer feature on the 2009 Forbes Celebrity 100?
7) "Stephanie Meyer had never written even a short story before Twilight" True or false?
If anyone wants to enter this competition there are definitely TBC prizes on offer.
Who's this?! It's TOP COMBINE!!!!!!! Look how mean and serious they are!!!! But now, what's this?!?!?!!
I feel really good watching that video.
Also feel really good watching this thing by King Joseph Young.
I liked this interview where Ani tries to get all the way into Bailey's pantyhose.
If you smoke weed you're not an artist:
Think I'm listening to Janet Jackson. Yep. Just checked. Janet Jackson.
A good thing:
I was just about to turn on kill author for not nominating Audri Sousa for Best of the Web. Because thepoem(s) in question are good. And because Audri is the strongest hedgehog. And she can do what she wants with our kids because she wears the trousers and the breeches and the slacks. And because she can turn things inside out like a plastic bag or a gentle creature or whatever she wants and so on. Audri is good. So I thought, "Who did these anonymous clowns nominate instead of Audri? I'm going to call these clowns out! Let me have a look at these clowns' nominations!"
But it turned out they actually had nominated Audri. So I feel sheepish and happy. Well done, Audri. Well done, kill author for being a smart kids.
Kanye West's blog is really good actually, if you haven't looked, haha.
Chris East recently celebrated 100 posts in style. I will see Chris East tomorrow I think. Does anyone have any physical messages they want me to convey to him?
I 'called out' Chris and various other people on HTMLGIANT. I wanted to fight them or meet them or something.
I called out Reynard Seifert. (Don't know why I'm using the term 'called out'. It feels good. Think I am a professional wrestler. I am The Gay Grappler. I am The Turkey. I am J Jonah Sugarnut Johnson)
So, Reynard was in my mind because I had recently read zzzombiezzz. Have you seen that thing? The design is incredible.
Here is my plea to Sr. Seifert:
"Make a printable version."
Or at least
"Send me a printable version of the text please, I want to read it again and I have a headache."
Anyway. hahaclever is nice. zzzombiezzz is nice. Bigbigbigbigbigbig.
I also called out Ani Smith. I said: ‘dear ani – let’s meet up’
No reply. What, Ani, you don't got Google Alerts?
And other things.
These shreds videos are something else. (Just typed and deleted "Jesus Blade Runner Shuffleboard Cutlass") Hyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!: